- No touching , please....

Circumstances weren’t really in their favour, now they work together, he was forced to see her everyday and couldn’t even approach her in any other way that was not professionally. They started going out for dinner, they discover the same special food affection: celiac. No wheat or anything containing gluten in their food. That created a great challenge every time they went out for dinner, find restaurants that will serve their favorite dishes without gluten. At the same time, they both seem to have a great food affinity, same taste for wine and of course a love for fish. She doesn’t eat red meat, so that was a point of disagreement but they enjoyed Japanese food like no one else. She can drink much more than him. The most exciting thing is that even there was evidently a physical attraction, nothing ever happen more than holding hands to cross the street or a momentary touch. Also she was involved in a relationship, he was never get in the middle of something like that, he was afraid of himself, so that served as a great reason not to make any advance or even tried anything more than the usual hi and bye.
She talked about her relationship as something that was sinking, like a boat that wouldn’t give her anymore the peace of mind that she needed. But she never volunteered more information. He like that of her, she was so discreet with her own
One night, out of the blue it came a kiss. Nervous, he is out of practice, have not been in this way with a woman in 12 years. He remembered well how much he suffered at the end of that relationship, the eternal nights of no sleep, the need of hearing her voice, her skin missing next to him. He has promised not ever again.
No more crying on planes, or by himself in a lonely hotel, he doesn’t need that much, but he tends to give it all, piece by piece, he doesn’t believe in fast one stand relationships, he believes in building a relationship. He is unaware that something is building or is he?
And then he ends in a tough position, his emotions are very vulnerable, he doesn’t believe in lies or second thoughts, you give or not. The world is black and white in the love arena.
Sex hasn’t been a priority for him. Years of onanism have convinced him that while it was a physical need, you really didn’t need it to survive. He learn that in China, conversation with so many Buddhist monks, many weekends spent inside monasteries where you came in Friday afternoon and then doors to the monastery were closed until Monday morning, convince him that with his mind he could actually control that function and the more mundane of being fit could be done by other means. He spend most of his late teen years in so many different beds, that he was in no more need of it. And at the end, after one of his best friends died from AIDS, he decided that he preferred to be out of that game than being worried about the possibilities every single time you were with a woman.
So in essence this was a perfect relationship for him, they will go out for dinner and then he will leave her at her place, no more than a good night kiss and a hug. They seem to enjoy themselves that way. He thought all the time that she was actually relieved that things work that way. He didn’t push neither she.
On the other hand, he traveled extensively, every weekend he goes down to New York or Boston, some times even to D.C. He has two daughters that he tries to see every weekend, and also some other pieces of his life, the most important at this time was his friend sick in Boston, it became a routine for him to have dinner Saturday night with his friend.
Life was simple that way, but of course humans cannot live simple lives, we have to complicate them as we move along. He has never been a simple person. He is complex in his way of thinking, in his way of living, in his relationships, and his brain works totally different from others. He is wired different. He doesn’t seem to be moved by the same strings that most human beings, he goes around and he doesn’t stop when he wants or needs something. He tends to be very good mentor, he likes people, but he seldom lets anybody inside his inner person. He is always afraid to be hurt. It took him long time to recognize this weakness. He has master a compartmentalization of his feelings so he doesn’t gives away his weak side. But she was bringing these walls apart, she was going steady but firm inside his most secret parts and she was doing it day by day, with an intensity that he admire and that sometimes makes him uncomfortable.

It came his birthday, and she prepare special things for him. Some of the ones he kept now near him, he remembers every single moment of it.
He pick her at her apartment, the new one. She just moved out of a relationship and her old place.
She told him one day that she was moving out of her place and just find one for her alone, small but will be hers. She was so excited, she talk about the convenience of the place, best corner in town, great restaurants, the subway, a big park in the back, etc. She is always in the process of starting exercise, she is not constant but he has never seen her do it. He could picture her doing some yoga and maybe some tai-chi but something else? no way, she would get stop at every corner by somebody trying to hit on her. And she is shy, even when she tries to overcome it. She can talk to anybody if she feels like she can have a one on one conversation around some subject, especially if it is one of her favorite ones, music or events. But she doesn’t like big groups, unless she can be in the middle of them, multitudes that give you the safety of being anonymous are ok.
She is complex in this way, she may be totally disorganized in some tings, but is really focus on others, she believes in the need for resources but it is not about that her life. She is in a desperate search for her identity, for what she is her role in the world, for what she should become. Like she wasn’t already.
Full woman, child sometimes, she looked at him with those eyes that seem so alive, that seem so eager to give and take.
They had a perfect dinner: all vegetarian food, no meat and no gluten. He started to understand that she has a connection with food, it is a sensual thing in her, like that movie, Like Water, Like Chocolate; where the food takes the emotions of the daughter that obviously is cooking Mexican food, with all its richness and full of flavors. So people felt in love when she was in love and food was wasted when she was mad.
Ann is a balloon of emotions, just about to explode. She really doesn’t know how to say thanks, but at the same, she has a restrain on herself that is very peculiar. She doesn’t seem to be willing to share, so he doesn’t dig deeper. Her emotion seem to be in a lethargic state that is more like when you get hit by a truck and you really don’t feel any pain, because the it is so deep the damage, that there is no more pain to go further…
It is like a dwell that went dry, like a womb that cannot produce more life, but even that is the impression; it is always those eyes that get you back to her. She seems to have inside so much life that it is about to explode.
They talk about everything, life, music, family, values, it was a great night. It seemed like life has gone into a stop and there was nothing that will move it.
He went through all and realized it was more than midnight.